hello,
Please Check out my new format
that I am trying out, before you
scroll down to read this. I would
love to know what you think.
Luna
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~(please press the play button)~
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She walked into the moonlight
In nothing but a shawl
Everything was ready
She was going to end it all
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She kneeled on the ground
To prey one last time
Please forgive me she cried
Straight from her heart, not her mind.
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Just then she felt a hand on her shoulder
A gentle voice said
“my child why do you want your life to be over?”
“Nothing is bad enough for you to crave to be dead.”
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She looked behind her and saw a teenage man
A knife on his hip
A blade in his hand
Why he had them, she could not understand.
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Look at you! You are young! She cried
How could you possibly fathom?
The guilt in my heart
Has created a chasm!
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I did a most terrible thing
Something like this
You could not glean.
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My life is over anyway
For this I need to pay!
Now please, just go away!
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He knelt down beside her
And caressed her hair
“It sounded to me like a cry of need
What would I be if I did not heed
Your call?”
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“You asked for forgiveness
But you already were
There is no need to do this
To this I swear.”
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She started to cry
Than to weep
All of her teardrops landed at his feet
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She cried until her tears dried up
She was cradled in his armes
By then it was almost sunup.
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“I promise you it will be alright
You have the knowledge to make it right
Look at me now and understand
You have many great works ahead of you
In this wonderful land.”
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He stood up and made to go
He smiled at her gently and said
“I have always loved you, you know”
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He kissed her hand
And squeezed it tight
And started to walk
toward the emerging light.
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And as he did
He started to glow
She covered her eyes as the light
Started to grow
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In a flash
He was gone
Disappeared from sight
And then she knew
Whom she had then spent the night
She finally understood
She was going to be alright
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She looked up to the sky
And in a whisper she replied
Thank you for everything
I will wait for my time to die
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And with a smile
She walked toward her door
The sun shining
She looked forward
to what she had in store.
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I love the color of your blog! Almost hypnotic.
I never tend to do the multi-media add-ons, because I like the poetry to stand on its own, and this one did. Stood tall, strong, and positive. I was worried about the reference to the knife; then, I realized he had done something really bad… yet he redeemed himself by cradling her, by letting her know it was OK.
Isolation is the reason most people commit suicide, especially feeling isolated from God. Perhaps that angel was sent for a reason? Loved this poem. Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/07/31/lost-in-the-weeds/
MY BLOG LAYOUT:
believe it or not, my layout is the same. all i have done is just change the color and the top picture
I also changed the titles of my menus. but everything really is the same.
its amazing what a change of color can do isn’t it?
thank you for all your wonderful comments.
A long poem, nicely written, about an unquestionable principle. I truly enjoyed it. As for your blog, I always felt a bit lost in it. I think you are on the right track if the idea is, as I concluded, simplification.
I liked the video with the poem. You do a great job of creating tension and moving me through to the end.
thank you. that was just a warm up thoough. lol
I’ll give my thoughts on the format first. I like it. I enjoy the audio/video placed physically before the poem. I really enjoyed reading and listening. I did distract myself because I wanted to listen and read simultaneously. But I also wanted to watch the video, so I scrolled up and down. But that’s my unfocused brain. One, thing with the recording, the volume was very low.
Now to the poem. Beautiful. It told a story and took me to a place. I’m also glad it had a happy ending. You developed the characters almost like in a story, so I had a lot of sympathy for the woman, and I’m glad she’s ok.
AND, this must have taken a lot of time to put together! Are you planning to create something like this for every poem?
Sorry for such a long comment. Thanks for such a nice poem.
Enchanting and uplifting words…they move and make to want to know more.
i love the ending! ♥ we all need to be hopeful of the future.
Great writing and a moving story, told well. I thought I had already seen this and commented. Sorry if I’ve doubled up. (It’s deserving of a second comment, in any case!)
Poignant reminder that we are never alone, even when we are in our darkest hour. Once I cried, God, why did you leave me! He said, I have always been here. You are the one that went away. He was right, of course. Your poetry has such honesty. Thank you for that. I like the idea of the video very much. I had considered doing that but never got around to it. I could not hear very well. I had my speakers turned up and even used ear phones. Don’t know if is because I live in a remote area and have a pour signal, or the problem is at your end. Thanks also for subscribing to my blog. Hugs, pat
great to find self remorse dealt and in mind possible future, there’s just isn’t a better day!