The reason I started this blog was to show that you can go through the worst things in the world and still come out okay.
I have NEVER thought of myself as a victim. Just someone that ALOT of bad things have happened within my life. Each thing making me more and more Happy to BE alive and appreciate things like the bird that landed on my shoulder and sang to me when I was camping in the forest, or the sunset that sets the sky ablaze. My daughters laugh, a roaring bonfire that lights up the night,singing in the rain, and life.
In my life I have seen So many people think their life is over because they experienced JUST ONE of the many things that I have survived.
I thought if just ONE PERSON can read what I’ve been through and realize that they too are gonna make it, than my life has had meaning . I have lived a good life.
I know I have accomplished that from my book.
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Trying to write my feeling out these past months as I cared for my mother was very painful but the thought always this one thought, (What if someone right now feels this way too?) Kept me writing.
July I was averaging 20 hours sleep a week
Aug. 10 hours.
It wasn’t just losing my mother, it was:
1. Losing the woman who when she first looked at me knew I was hers at 2 days old and Finally, 4yrs later, taking me home.
2. Losing the woman who put a broken girl back together and understood my need to always Be GOOD.
3. Having Her side of my family disown me while she was dying because they couldn’t understand why I could not honor her dying request.
4. Breaking my arm than having a family member severely sprain the other.
5. Having my treasured possessions smashed all over my home.
AND ALL OF THIS OCCURRING WHILE I HAD NOT SEEN MY HUSBAND IN 2 MONTHS, and with no sleep.
I feel like I had every right to crack up a little. To feel lost, betrayed, and alone. The most heartbreaking thing in all of it was I had lost my ability to write. THAT had me terrified to my core. But i knew if only i could just let go than it would come but i was afraid i could not.
So what happened this weekend was indeed terrifying and painful, and I’ve only been out of the hospital for 6hours now… let me tell you the good that came of this.
1. This woman now has 1 deed on record of her nature and if ANYONE ELSE has the courage to come forward in the future or past, She will not be able to hurt anyone else again!
2. It broke through my shell and I CAN WRITE AGAIN!
3. They found a tumor in my lung that would have gone unnoticed for who knows how long ,but found because they needed to know how badly I was bleeding internally.
4. Reminded me of the little things to be grateful for.
5. Maybe now I can help someone else in the future over similar.
I may expect people to be nice, and kind, I may trust first than guard later, But if I didn’t I would never find the gifts that I see daily. I may get hurt because of it, but I wouldn’t know how to change the Pollyanna in me even if I could. I need my faith in man whether it be a false faith or not, I truly believe We, mankind are GOOD.
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Now here are my questions:
Should I stay or should I go?
Should I continue writing here in the hope that someone will be helped?
Or shut it down because all you see is a victim?
Let me know, Please…
Thank you, blessings,
~Luna
Scarlet Luna-Mia Lombardi | Luna the moon Rose 
Your writing is very touching. I am sure we have all felt a victim at some time in our lives when a tradegy happens, I know I have. I’m sure your words have helped others come through difficult times too. Blessings.
You should write for no-one else but yourself. If what you write is seen as being a victim, then it’s how it’s being read. Most of us don’t get through life without being beaten or bruised by it in some way or another. Life is hard and some people have much more than their fair share of all its knocks. You seem to be one of these type of people that has more than their fair share of bad luck and misfortune. But, I would say to you keep writing for yourself, not for anyone else. If the writing helps you keep your sanity and exorcise any demons just write. It doesn’t have to be as advice and it doesn’t matter if someone thinks you are a victim or not. If you want to be read as giving advice through your misfortunes then write it that way and not totally from a victim point of view but from a point of view that, ‘this happened’ don’t let it happen to you, be aware, blah blah.
I have been a victim all through my life since having my leg broken deliberately when I was 3 years old and from then onward a victim in one way or another. But, although the past shapes us it doesn’t in the end, make us, we chose our own path. At 17 I decided I could either hate the world and everyone in it for all the wrongs against me and always play the part of victim or, I could take charge and live my live through love. I’m so glad I chose love. It changed my mindset from being a wronged victim to promising to never make anyone suffer in the ways in which I had had to. Everything that has happened to you has made you a survivor , you are so much stronger than you know. Be that person and, yes, keep writing but don’t write for anyone other than, yourself and if people find good advice in it, then, they will tell you so but, don’t write it as a victim, write it as a survivor!
Hope that helps you somewhat.
That was really good what you wrote. I am sorry about all the hard things you have had to go through lately. I can understand in a small measure, as I lived with being beaten, and having my sentimental stuff smashed all over my house for several months, while being sick and pregnant. I thought that life had ended for me at the time. It seemed so dismal and empty. My dreams were completely shattered. Then, before a year had even passed, my best friend (a very wonderful young girl) was shot and killed. It felt like all the people I had loved most were being stripped out of my life one-by-one. I felt bitter, and struggled with opening my heart to love again. But as you put it so beautifully “I may expect people to be nice, and kind, I may trust first than guard later, But if I didn’t I would never find the gifts that I see daily.” I really like that. A life without love, is no life at all. And despite the pain of losing them, I wouldn’t trade the happy times I experienced with those people I loved for anything in the world.
And as of now, God has restored my dreams to me. I have learned once again to open my heart to the pain of love, and now I am as happy as I ever have been. Life is very good. Some people may behave badly, but everyone needs to experience kindness, and caring, and love, no matter how bad they have been. Sometimes that is what wins a person over.
Keep writing! You are inspiring! And I pray that much happier circumstances begin to flood your life from now on.
I believe you have the power and the words to touch many here at this place. Many people who hurt, who are burdened in this life have little outlet to know in their hearts that others are going through the same kinds of things. Many people pop in to read what we write, never having the courage to share their thoughts with us. But it is here, that we can touch the world, touch individual lives of people who need to see that they are not alone.
Please keep sharing in any way that you can.
you only see your problems now,
you shall let go of the loss of your mother, move on and be happy.
come to poetry picnic or poets rally …
make encouragements to others, they need you, while receiving love from your peers.
standing in the bottom of your well AND CRY DAYS AND NIGHTS WON’T HELP.